For Her, For Me

In 2006, after I got married, I felt let down. The party, the details, the world that I had been living in for 2 years was over...and there I was, a old married lady.   So depressed and yet obsessed with my own wedding, I took my 10 years of corporate event knowledge - grabbed one of my best friends and hastily started a wedding planning business - Simply Sparkling Events.   We kept those day jobs, and even though it was hard working almost 7 days a week - we were good at wedding planning, it was fun and creative.  And hard.  Dealing with other people's weddings, difficult mothers, even more difficult maid of honors, drunk best men - ugh.  That could be  blog all on it's own.

In any case, in 2009 my husband and I decided to get pregnant.  Knowing that I couldn't possibly juggle a full time job, a part-time business and motherhood, I told my best friend and business partner I was out of the wedding planning game.

2 years later, after months of tears, doctor appointments and words like "unexplained infertility", "IVF" and "IUI" - we still weren't pregnant. I had given up on my business for nothing, my day job was getting unbearable and my marriage was showing signs of strain. 

I started seriously thinking about what my life would be like without children.  Would I stay living in the suburbs?  Should I start another business? What could possibly fill that hole in my heart where my love for my child would be.

Then, a miracle.  2 years, and over $10,000 later - in the month that we were "taking off, we got pregnant.    And now, I'm the proud mother of my beautiful baby girl, Gabriella.

This blog is for her, for me and for all those women struggling right now with feeling that emptiness that infertility brings into your life.  And, oh yeah  - some event planning too.